Monday, April 9, 2012

Theme 43 - Bollywood

From @AbhiandNow: He killed a man, and then another. He loved a woman, and then her mother. She made him her brother and he took her to cover pages. He married her just to kill her one day. He kidnapped her and then had children with her daughter. Nothing much, just the life of our Bollywood hero.

From @RBtrary: She hailed from a small-town; born and raised in a minimally-resourced-family. Sudden success and money dragged the actress towards darker-paths. Fame kept soaring high and so did the emptiness in her life and drugs in her veins. On deathbed at 35 she thought: Movie on my life, a sure-shot Bollywood-blockbuster and passed-away with a smile.

From @pearly_swhites: She had stumbled upon many a Shah Rukh. Larger than life. Charming yet elusive. She had her share of Salmans too. Novel personages masking their aggression. The Hashmis weren't far behind. But all they sought was to catch her 'off guard'! Eventually though, she found the one. The Hrithik of her life. Her super hero.

From @gauravjagwani: The last slide read BOLLYWOOD. Everything seemed perfect. He was convinced that that was the way forward. Then, that slide happened.The presenter stepped out. The client remained. On his return, he apologised for taking a piss. The client said, ‘You let a pee out in 2 places, then.’ He corrected the slide to BOL PLYWOOD.

From @vivekisms: She wanted something new. Not a new film to act in. Not a new tree to run around. Not another Filmfare award. She wanted something more melodramatic than all of this. Something that would take care of her malicious nature. The Diva in her knew it. She joined the 140 character website.

From @IndianIdle: He always made fun of Bollywood. Bad acting, mushy dialogues, boring and lengthy movies. An Indian took him on a tour and said,” Here people sing Bollywood songs on any occasion be it night or day. Our superstars are given godlike status. Do you have this there? “. Foreigner could only stare in awe.

From @NumbYaar: We were at a fishing village in Ethiopia. There an annoying kid would come outside our hut and time and again scream “Haramzada” and “KuttaKameena” in his accent. After a point, we dashed out and caught the little rascal by his collar. He surrendered, made a puppy face and said “Maaf kardo inspector”.

From @theslumdawg: Bollywood, Sapno ki dunia. People come here from across the country to try their luck! I met one those guys who said, "Mere Maa-Baap ko bachpan se pata tha ke mujhe me kuch baat hai! Mein Hero banunga!" I said, "Yeh sochke tu *try* karne aaya hai, toh wapas nikal le apne ghar."

From @thatbhandaguy: The Bollywood movie the critic had dismissed was a superhit. Hungry,he stopped for Pav Bhaji. He didnt care about the reused oil nor Chotu's clothing sense. The Pav Bhaji took him away from a chaotic world. It was his reward for a hard day. Perhaps he needed to take the movies and the Bhaji with pinch of salt.

From @spud_31: "The children had been waiting since the morning, seated patiently on the floor. The alternate Sunday, which promised a Bollywood movie, was here, but there was no electricity in the village. An hour later, the room flooded with light, only to darken again as the movie started. The children, ecstatic, were now living their dreams.."

From @rinashah: She was a die heart fan of Bollywood movies. She loved to spend her days, at times, on the couch watching movies back to back and not get tired of it at all. This is something which didn’t go well with people at home and she always ended up being in trouble because of it.

From @hilonee: "He never allowed her in. 'You'll make mischief and spoil my work', he reasoned. A shadow of a smile crossed her face as at last she entered his work room. Bottles of paint, unclean brushes lay among the cobwebs. She picked up a Bollywood film poster and in the artwork felt her baba come alive."

From @highheelswaali: He was the poster-boy of the industry. No movie could be released without him. His art, his panache, that certain something in his characters. His was the longest running monopoly the B-town had ever seen. And then they started printing the posters.

From @RealFartShady:

Neha sat to write.


I love Bombay and my job but I'm quitting. I'm leaving tonight, just to come back and do better. You'll always have me, not in the movies I made but the talks we had.

Love always,

PS: Awesome dinner tonight."

Neha then jumped off the ledge of her building.

From @wekneweachother: Raghav puked as he exited the night club. A strong gust of chilly wind hit his face and he smiled sadly. After years of mediocre success, he finally gave in and lost his virginity to Karan Johar. Later Raghav became an international heart-throb but couldn’t cure the throbbing pain of his conscience. That’s Bollywood’s glamour.

From @sinpinklove: The excruciating pain,the droplets of blood on the bed and the dark naked man beside her.She thought of her family, her values, her morality.Then she thought of the money, the fame and the success.What she had lost and what she would gain. Anything to realise her Bollywood dream.

From @swaravali: This old couple went to watch their first movie at a multiplex. A third person who came a bit late was perplexed not find them in their seats. She looked all over, panicked and checked every screen. They were in correct seats numbers, wrong screen watching a Bollywood movie till they retrieved back to a kahaani.

From @oxymoronic_me:

1976. He was the poster boy of Bollywood. The movies he worked on, colored the people’s lives. His famous pictures would pull the excited crowds to the movie-hall. They would jump, throw coins at the screen and applaud. He painted movie posters for a living. No one knew of his existence.

2000. He was redundant.

From @sweetangel: Sameera had worn a beautiful red saree complete with lovely bangles and a diamond necklace. She looked in the mirror. It was like any other day. She almost heard the director yell "Cut", when Yash said, "Congratulations my wife". She blinked, and realised. She was really married now. To the love of her life.

From @roshd: Samrat knew she smoked. She even fagged on their wedding day. He was an outsider and she an established Bollywood heroine. After marriage her smoking and boozing increased. She bloated.The directors seemed to prefer the younger girls who were ‘easier’. That’s when he started his affair with her younger sister. In true Bollywood style.

From @quencro: He journeyed from Theatre to Film School to the Silver Screen. He dreamt of being the protagonist, but found success in smaller roles. 190 Films later, he was a cult icon. Not for his stellar performances or emoting prowess, but , for three words "Poore Pachaas Hazaar". We never knew who Sambha really was. RIP.

From @yashakothari: Drama, action, and every emotion. These were the ingredients chosen to create the perfect Bollywood film. But Professor Nagin accidentally added an extra ingredient to the concoction - Chemical Dance. Thus, the Item Girls were born. Using their ultra-super kamar ka jhatkas, Sheila, Munni, and Chikni dedicated their lives bringing jawaani, and badnaami to Bollywood.

From @Chhotarecharge: “Chori chori chupke chupke” “maine pyaar kiya”! Ab toh “Tere naam” se hi “Stumped” ho jaati hu ♥ We could be “Partner”’s for life as “Mr. and Mrs. Khan(na)”? “No entry” to “shaadi karke phas gaya yaar” feelings… but I’m totally “READY” for some “Biwi ho toh aisi” compliments. So Pandey Ji “Mujhse shaadi karoge?”

From @mizarcle: I was home sick. This new land full of people I didn’t know speaking a language I didn’t understand. What is this place? “Would you go to a club?” asked one of the other freshers. “I am not sure.” I replied. More awkwardness. “It is bollywood night. You’ll like it” Finally, home.

From @Kanwarse:

It was his big day. After years of sweating it out on the streets of Mumbai, his dream was finally coming true. It was his first movie. And this was his very first day. Time to deliver.

‘Dil Ki Baatein, Shoot 1, Scene 1, Clap!’

He had finally become a clapper boy.

From @SahilBulla:

“Cut” yelled the exasperated director.

“This story is too simple. We need more violence, more warfare and a lot more deaths. You see that fellow with the long hair. Kill him.” he said.

“But sir when will he come back?” asked the puzzled cinematographer.

“In the retake” said God as he walked away.

From @salonitia:

“Do you prefer Hollywood to Bollywood?”

"Bollywood anyday Sirjee!!!

That little bit of blushing, smiling, looking into the eyes, laughing and then falling in love, but not before dancing and then just showing two flowers,can only happen in our Bollywood ."

With all secretly wanting to be a part of Bollywood, all agreed.

From @konfusedkhopadi: Today I went to bank with my mom to open a joint account. On submitting the forms, even after seeing our respective ID’s, the person asked me “Kya proof hai ki aap dono maa aur beta hai?” . I smirked as various Bollywood movie scenes crossed my mind ,high pitched orchestra in the background .

From @KyaHaiBey: “They drink our blood, abuse by our names & forget that they promised us few bones. This sucks dude. One of the biggest money yielding industry and they haven’t given us our royalty for the past 55 years! ~An encrypted dialogue from a dog’s brain that has been an integral part of every BOLLYWOOD movie.

From @kaloladeep: An Actress asked someone whether she should be having an account on social networking site, the reply was very generous, only the problem then the girl told to the person was she is afraid of some spams that will hit her account, The person replied " It's Bollywood, If you can't handle it baby, Scandle it"

From @sumitrai100:

Once Bollywood and Hollywood engaged in a fierce competition.

Hollywood: “We've Harry Potter, Transporter, Terminator and all the jaw-dropping actions."

Bollywood: “We've songs for birth, for death and even for an appendices operation.”
And the debate continued.

Another entry.

"And we've Rajinikanth". Pin drop silence. The debate was over. Kollywood was declared the undisputed winner.

From @TheShreyasNaik: He grew up in the slums. He never went to school. He earned a living by sweeping the floors of a city Multiplex. Sometimes, he snuck inside the dark theatres and watched the movies. They fascinated him. Today, he was making the very same actors dance to his tunes. He had become an established choreographer.

From @trollgonegood: She was stepping out of the car. His hands were clammy and his knees were trying to betray him. Just three words, he could say three words couldn’t he? He gulped. She was in front of him, looking at him expectantly and all he could do was stare at her. “CUT!” yelled the irate director.

From @Kantaap: More than the flashbulbs, she missed the muted whispers around her when she went out. She’d left him at the height of her career and he’d taken her down. Now at the end of her spiral, she laughed bitterly as she collated scripts for her boss. Her life was as clich├ęd as most of them.

From @xmanishaa: He woke up and checked the newspaper. So India won yesterday’s match, that minister resigned from his post and another student committed suicide due to study pressure. He took a sip from his coffee. He checked the Bollywood page. Nothing about him. For once, he didn’t feel like a celebrity, but a normal human being.

From @bongbuffoon: He had been waiting to download it for days. Finally, it was ready, waiting, transforming into his girl on prom night. He felt a thrill as he loaded the film. And she began to reveal herself slowly, seductively. Suddenly, his wife enters, smelling of fish. “Eeesh! How can you watch Bidya.” He grimaces. “It’s Vidya.”

From @ritukarthik: She had learned to ignore these things over the years. Each day it was a different story. Someone had something to say and she knew that most of the conversations were just gossip. Afterall, It wasn't her husband who was sleeping with the directors and producers to get him his roles, it was all her.

From @anushreekejriwa: Her mother was a courtesan and since a young age she was pushed into the world of glamour. Initially it was all about getting dressed and get candies as reward. As she grew up,they turned into money. She earned respect but forgot the taste of candies in the process of evolving as an actress.

From @narinderkapur: Being a hero must be a tough business, he mused. It involved love with many women, being lovers with many more, setting up Swiss Bank accounts, throwing tantrums at the slightest inclination, and felicitating those fakers who saved cats and buildings. Yes, being a hero was a tough business indeed.

From @kunalbaidmehta:

“Were you a barber in your past life?" asked the brawny actor.

"What? No! I mean how do I know? Why do you ask?" said the famous action hero.

"Because you love using the scissors a lot on the editing table!" said the brawny actor and walked off.

The action hero was stumped and speechless.

From @randomwhiz: It was the year 1985. A cute, slightly plump woman was sitting in a garden with a group of other people, chatting. Looking closely, you could see it was Neetu Singh, meeting fans who had written letters to her. The magic of the yesteryears. When bollywood had fans and actors, not stars and paparazzi.

From @madrasmad: 9 runs needed off the last ball. Can they do it? Amidst all that din, the batsman looks at his teary-eyed girlfriend in the stands, who whispers “You can do it, Arjun.” He responds by kissing the bat. The bowler, looking constipated, charging in, for the last 7 minutes, pauses in mid-air... INTERMISSION.

From @BombayChor: "Sir, humare father big actor in village ka Ramleela, always play Ram. Hum 10th standard mein the, Pitaji bole, you going Bombay; becoming big actor. I come and 9 years today, actor to nahi banpaye but I main gurkha of Filmcity. Without my permission not even Amitabh Bachchan entering." As quoted by Tejbahadur Singh Bollywoodia.

From @insidiousbrain: Its been three years now. I thought this being an Extra thing wouldn't last too long. Have seen people break into tears and give up this fight. For some its been a cakewalk. Can't compare. Its better if I don't. After all, it was my dream to work in Bollywood.

From @sahilk: I keep hearing of these shows happening in Dubai where a bunch of Indian actors and actresses come to perform. The Indians staying in my compound get excited about it and book their tickets immediately. One, none of them are as good as their Hollywood counterparts. Two, the Arab actresses are prettier. So, point being?

From @parekhit: There was nothing extraordinary about him. He was an old man, wrinkled with the lessons learnt from life. His tired eyes had seen it all- the good, bad and the ugly. He coughed severely, wore torn clothes and slept at the footpath. Years ago he was a star. Today, he has no existence. Bollywood!

From @theaceofspade_: She always knew how her love story would be. Bollywood Ishtyle. He will be tall, fair and handsome. Curly hair, cute smile. They will meet at a marriage. Love at first sight, few dances, champagne in the moonlight and he will propose to her. Today, she’s getting married to Bald, overweight, established CA from Delhi.

From @thehumerus: It was their 42nd wedding anniversary. And as promised, he was wearing the British trousers and she the Japanese shoes. They started dancing, as a familiar song started playing on the refurbished gramophone player, while smiling at how their gifts to each other still fitted them perfectly, to this day.

From @bhytu:



"Wrong! I said spell BOLLYWOOD"

"BOLE ...."

"You don't know a simple spelling. Get out."

He took his bag and walked out. The teacher continued. He gazed at the opposite class. There she was in there smiling at him. He smiled back. So what he couldn't spell Bollywood. He lived it.

From @_Nehu: "Hindi movies are lovely full of drama and entertainment" “Nothing beats Hollywood films like 2012,titanic,star wars" "Dude why are they so scared? Always imagining end of world or war with aliens, animals." Guess who wins the discussion.

From @bitchwanti: She looked into the mirror and their eyes met. The hair brush stopped mid air. She, beautiful, glamorous, famous. Her, nondescript, ordinary, unkempt. Yet, they belonged to the same family. The actress and the make-up artist. Bollywood.

From @Gods_Evangelos: He was just a normal human being. He had the passion. He started with plays and then the TV serials. Finally he was launched in a movie. The impression was dark but the potential was deep. He was known for romance in early late 90’s. He is the “King of Bollywood”. Salute. Respect. Love. Inspiration.

From @Freelosopher: "The extras are better than this snob of a star-son. He should’ve taken dancing lessons. The heroine can dance, act and looks drop-dead gorgeous. Oooooh! The only reason my job is remotely bearable..… Aaaaaaahhhhh!!!” yelled the clapperboard, as the Second Assistant Cameraman clapped him in front of the camera for the fifty-fifth time that day.

From @lady_shweta: Roshni looked at her 25 year old photograph, life was so different back then. One crowning glory was that she was offered a movie by Dev Saab. She sighed and started cooking again. She would dream about her incomplete bollywood dreams tonight.

From @JaaTeri: The weather was pleasant with the sun shining brightly. Everyone seemed happy. Suddenly, a figure emerged on the horizon - a young boy in torn clothes, running as fast as he could, towards the villagers. He was sweating profusely. There was panic all around. The boy kept screaming as he ran, "Daaku aa gaye. Bhaago!"

From @Oven_Tikka: As she waited, she flipped through a stack of old film magazines lying on the counter. Perfect faces, smiled at her from the covers. The thick, shiny pages were full of scandal and more airbrushed smiles. “Didi, yeh lo aapka ek meetha, ek medium”, said the moustached bhelwala uncle, handing her a glossy paper cone.

From @abi_da: Breeze from nowhere blew towards her face. Her hair fluttered towards him. Though he caught a mouthful of hair by accident, he still had that jubilant smile on, as if he was smelling a bouquet of flowers. Then, it starts to rain like crazy so suddenly. This is the weather of Bollywood. A song follows.

From @dhoopchhanv: Leaning on the wall, she said in mild husky voice, "Ek baar mujhe aazma kr dekho,Laila, Heer ya juliet, sab ke gum bhul jaoge!" He stopped, looked in her eyes. "Cut", the voice said. She sat quietly, pondering, she was living her dream, able to live several characters in one life in bollywood.

From @vikranntLFC: Her mom slapped her. Hard. She cried. And apologized. But inside she was filled with vengeance. And she could hide it well. This vengeance slowly built up to such a level, that finally she didn't mind doing those things that would make her famous. Rungs of that ominous ladder. She thanked her mom for it.

From @catpricious: In that cold, foreign town, Bollywood Buffs was a cliche, but there was something comforting in those two words. "I love the dancing", said someone with a strong British twang. "I love the poetic dialogues". "I love Hrithik Roshan!" His heart sunk. Why was he such a misfit everywhere? For him, Bollywood was just home.

1 comment:

  1. Scene: Generic big house
    Cast: Generic actors being 'family'.
    Plot: Young north-Indian surnamed boy is rich/poor. Young north-Indian surnamed girl is poor/rich (or nowadays rich/poor). They meet. He stalks her. They fall in 'love'. They dance. They cry/separate and date other people then fight-scenes/plot twists/sidekicks die/villain dies. They are reunited and live happily ever after.